still this dark cloud is looming,
I can't keep lieing to myself
that I didn't have a problem-
with trust.
who's to say that even the
ones- friends you've known
for years won't stab you
in the back when you least
expect it?
How can you believe
that you're life has not
become complete Hell
on earth
Who do you have now?
Clearly no on to trust.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Who am I?
Who am i?
am i just another nothing?
just another person shunned,
y hopefully forgotten as you
live through your pathetic existance.
a friend? acquaintance?
you can tell me you'll love me forever,
but that's just lies
in the lovely clouded bubble
you place above my head-
mess me with in believing
i could still have some meaning in your life.
when it's clear
you don't even know.
you like knowing
I'm still there,
that I can be a friend,
yet you cut
most connections with me
as you could.
clearly there's something
you're not telling me...
-Jan 9/08
am i just another nothing?
just another person shunned,
y hopefully forgotten as you
live through your pathetic existance.
a friend? acquaintance?
you can tell me you'll love me forever,
but that's just lies
in the lovely clouded bubble
you place above my head-
mess me with in believing
i could still have some meaning in your life.
when it's clear
you don't even know.
you like knowing
I'm still there,
that I can be a friend,
yet you cut
most connections with me
as you could.
clearly there's something
you're not telling me...
-Jan 9/08
January 9/08
devoured into total bliss of imaginary realms of perfect beliefs and longing gratitude. Be, as it is, watching the victims scramble to undo the destruction that they have unknowingly caused.
Blinded by that state of utter chaos... damnation y long forgotten solitude. No escape from this unmistakable terror of tragic error... summoning the beast within.
Pain driven eyes, y hollow hearts. It's as if no speak of righteousness has a faint chance of any known useful existence.
Blinded by that state of utter chaos... damnation y long forgotten solitude. No escape from this unmistakable terror of tragic error... summoning the beast within.
Pain driven eyes, y hollow hearts. It's as if no speak of righteousness has a faint chance of any known useful existence.
For a Reason
am i now just a empty vessel,
whom strangers can cast down and spit on.
am i so hideous that i can have no friends,
that when i do they never talk to me.
lonely in my heartache and depressing
thing i call life,
when i once had a reason to look forward
and watch the sunrise in the morning,
to laugh and cry like a normal human being.
is it too much to want to be happy
and have friends,
to live your life.
July 8/06
whom strangers can cast down and spit on.
am i so hideous that i can have no friends,
that when i do they never talk to me.
lonely in my heartache and depressing
thing i call life,
when i once had a reason to look forward
and watch the sunrise in the morning,
to laugh and cry like a normal human being.
is it too much to want to be happy
and have friends,
to live your life.
July 8/06
October 4/08
Remember remember the fifth of November,
the cries of agony as they die
through the night
stabbed in the heart.
the alley is stained with blood.
the cries of agony as they die
through the night
stabbed in the heart.
the alley is stained with blood.
Sept 27/06
when the rain drop falls
and the storm stops
do we notice the
dew on the walls.
or do we go straight to
cleaning the floor with a mop?
or do we remember-
and the storm stops
do we notice the
dew on the walls.
or do we go straight to
cleaning the floor with a mop?
or do we remember-
May 9/07
if you believe something, why can't it be real,
your tears run down the side of your face,
scared,
pained, bruised and broken.
scramble for the last scraps of food.
the night gets colder.
you pull your jacket tighter,
curse the frigid weather,
you're alone,
forgotten,
lost and unwanted.
no family for Christmas,
no turkey
and mashed potatoes
forget the eggnog.
your tears run down the side of your face,
scared,
pained, bruised and broken.
scramble for the last scraps of food.
the night gets colder.
you pull your jacket tighter,
curse the frigid weather,
you're alone,
forgotten,
lost and unwanted.
no family for Christmas,
no turkey
and mashed potatoes
forget the eggnog.
April 15/08
If you can't believe the truth, how certain can you be that you understand the world y those around you. You can believe that things make sense, but in reality they don't. The world you once knew, is nothing at all. All the things in the world you called home, are non-existant. What now?
Deep in thought, unaware of lurking abyss.
stuck in the shadows of the lost y deception,
confusion y dismay
believe that there's hope.
but hope does not exist,
in this rock covered,
lava-blood raging,
bitter endless miserating so-called life.
Thunderous beaming storms,
clouding your mind.
escaping the once love you felt,
but soon realize it's nothing more,
than misery in disguise.
Eyes darkened in the shadows,
seeing all that remains,
darkness y those left forgotten
tolling bell,
haunting past.
running for your life.
Deep in thought, unaware of lurking abyss.
stuck in the shadows of the lost y deception,
confusion y dismay
believe that there's hope.
but hope does not exist,
in this rock covered,
lava-blood raging,
bitter endless miserating so-called life.
Thunderous beaming storms,
clouding your mind.
escaping the once love you felt,
but soon realize it's nothing more,
than misery in disguise.
Eyes darkened in the shadows,
seeing all that remains,
darkness y those left forgotten
tolling bell,
haunting past.
running for your life.
Our Suicide Plan
Everything is led to the death, proven by the blood.
the tears of the say, maybe yesterday.
saying that you want to kill yourself.
telling us we're stuck together forever.
making plans that were made.
planning the date, to when our lives will end.
assigning days that were assigned to carry out the plan.
yesterday was emotionally met.
tomorrow will bring a new day, even if the lives are lost.
we'll not worry because we are not to worry.
we shall not cry because we should be happy.
this is what, this is what we wanted.
we think, we though about it, we suffered the pain everyday.
as the days went by, as our lives got harder.
we thought about it more, for we suffered the
pain, that was left for us.
depression, for us.
for we have suffered
we have had the pain.
we are suffering the consequences.
the tears of the say, maybe yesterday.
saying that you want to kill yourself.
telling us we're stuck together forever.
making plans that were made.
planning the date, to when our lives will end.
assigning days that were assigned to carry out the plan.
yesterday was emotionally met.
tomorrow will bring a new day, even if the lives are lost.
we'll not worry because we are not to worry.
we shall not cry because we should be happy.
this is what, this is what we wanted.
we think, we though about it, we suffered the pain everyday.
as the days went by, as our lives got harder.
we thought about it more, for we suffered the
pain, that was left for us.
depression, for us.
for we have suffered
we have had the pain.
we are suffering the consequences.
When- I
When you cry
I start to die
When you start each day
I start to fade away
when yo speak
I start to get weak
when you tremble
when you sleep
I start to cut deep
when you awake.
I start to fade
when you die
I start to say goodbye
When you smile
I start to smile
When you kill me
I start to be.
When you cry
I start to die.
I start to die
When you start each day
I start to fade away
when yo speak
I start to get weak
when you tremble
when you sleep
I start to cut deep
when you awake.
I start to fade
when you die
I start to say goodbye
When you smile
I start to smile
When you kill me
I start to be.
When you cry
I start to die.
to die tomorrow,
to be killed by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be choked by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to suffer the sorrow,
to die tomorrow,
to perish in sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to fade away from sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be tortured by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be in agony from sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be in misery by sorrow
to die tomorrow,
to have the sorrow.
to die tomorrow
to get the sorrow.
to die tomorrow
to be killed by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be choked by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to suffer the sorrow,
to die tomorrow,
to perish in sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to fade away from sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be tortured by sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be in agony from sorrow.
to die tomorrow,
to be in misery by sorrow
to die tomorrow,
to have the sorrow.
to die tomorrow
to get the sorrow.
to die tomorrow
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Date unknown
Happiness is wherever
you find it,
it gives you feelings of joy.
You're happy
It makes all the pain,
suffering,
and bad feelings disappear.
Happiness is one of of the best feelings
and emotions.
it makes you complete.
you find it,
it gives you feelings of joy.
You're happy
It makes all the pain,
suffering,
and bad feelings disappear.
Happiness is one of of the best feelings
and emotions.
it makes you complete.
Sept 5/06
When you know someone,
you are great friends,
but then you start to get closer,
be more comfortable
with each other.
You're just a girl,
and he's just a guy.
Does something always
have to happen?
You lose yourself
when he looks at you,
you can't stop looking,
glancing his way
as he can't either.
when does it become,
more than a friendship
and a crush?
why does it have to be,
why can't a girl and
a guy be really close
friends,
why is that that can only be,
of one is gay?
you are great friends,
but then you start to get closer,
be more comfortable
with each other.
You're just a girl,
and he's just a guy.
Does something always
have to happen?
You lose yourself
when he looks at you,
you can't stop looking,
glancing his way
as he can't either.
when does it become,
more than a friendship
and a crush?
why does it have to be,
why can't a girl and
a guy be really close
friends,
why is that that can only be,
of one is gay?
December 28/07
Empathy? This feeling designed to allow someone a feel que another es feeling, a understand como they feel.
Vamos about our days,
uncaring y unfazed,
unregarded the unfortunate
soul who-
Maybe it's one of these simple questions, with the most obvious answer, but yet still it is a mystery to most. Why do we lie? or rather why must we have the urge to? What drives us to create this excuse, for protection, to make things easier? How can it be easier when someone who cared for deeply lied to you, though beyond all doubt you believe that it was the truth, or rather you never second thought it. You know that there was a hidden meaning, a hidden truth, but as you try to loosen the web of lies, you discover that deep down you were better off not knowing, at least that way you could still have some hope y believe that your precious perfect life wouldn't shatter to a million thousand pieces. would you rather know the truth, or cast it aside, try to hope that there was still some reason left, some greater force that could mend this disaster of a broken heart. Do you believe that for one second you were lied to because they were prolonging the inevitable? Would you believe they didn't want to hurt you?
Tattered dreams, knocked down off your pedestal of longing dreams y hopes. Thinking that this was what life was all about. To have someone, y be truly happy, but can you truly say you were truly happy? Do you believe that it could've continued to be a great thing. Sheltering your deep sunk depression y heart ache. You were happy, believed things had a purpose, but now? What do you believe?
Vamos about our days,
uncaring y unfazed,
unregarded the unfortunate
soul who-
Maybe it's one of these simple questions, with the most obvious answer, but yet still it is a mystery to most. Why do we lie? or rather why must we have the urge to? What drives us to create this excuse, for protection, to make things easier? How can it be easier when someone who cared for deeply lied to you, though beyond all doubt you believe that it was the truth, or rather you never second thought it. You know that there was a hidden meaning, a hidden truth, but as you try to loosen the web of lies, you discover that deep down you were better off not knowing, at least that way you could still have some hope y believe that your precious perfect life wouldn't shatter to a million thousand pieces. would you rather know the truth, or cast it aside, try to hope that there was still some reason left, some greater force that could mend this disaster of a broken heart. Do you believe that for one second you were lied to because they were prolonging the inevitable? Would you believe they didn't want to hurt you?
Tattered dreams, knocked down off your pedestal of longing dreams y hopes. Thinking that this was what life was all about. To have someone, y be truly happy, but can you truly say you were truly happy? Do you believe that it could've continued to be a great thing. Sheltering your deep sunk depression y heart ache. You were happy, believed things had a purpose, but now? What do you believe?
Rambles of Conscience
He brightened up the world,
befriended body y soul.
Taught you more than
you could ever imagine
Believed that there was
something better.
Shared joy y happiness
with being creative y
completely out of this world.
Being so different,
no one could forget
Nov 21,2007
befriended body y soul.
Taught you more than
you could ever imagine
Believed that there was
something better.
Shared joy y happiness
with being creative y
completely out of this world.
Being so different,
no one could forget
Nov 21,2007
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